Jenni and I were having some drinks at Williams peanut bar last night. We had been sitting at the downstairs bar around 8pm, which is probably considered really early for young adults like us. However, we were just trying to escape daily life last night rather than trying to party and get wasted. So this seemed fine to us. Anyways, as the hours went by, there seemed to be more and more people standing around us in every direction trying to get the bartender's attention. I started getting irritated of all the people, and the fact that it was getting harder to hear Jenni.
I started people watching...
Observing body language and behaviors of everyone made me smile. I'd laugh or smile at the one who is completely drunk and being annoying; the one male who got SO excited that Alanis's "Ironic" came on and starting shouting at the top of his lungs...completely off key; the clans of girls dressed up in short trendy dresses (that I find hideous) with big earrings, and 6 inch heels; the good looking young male surrounded by his not-so-good-looking-nerdy-and-chubby-friends acting nonchalant; the group of guys asking the bartenders which taps are the yellow ones (the taps are color coded, and the yellow ones are the cheapest domestic beers); etc.
I started wondering what the purpose of going out was, to all these people. I'd say the majority of the people I saw weren't wearing rings on their forth fingers. The answer was in my head, but I asked Jenni what she thought they were here for. She had the same idea. Do these people really believe that they'd find their lover/mate one night at a bar? Maybe one day, someone gets a 'good feeling' and thinks they have to go to Williams that night because they think they're going to meet their lover/mate...so they fix themselves up and gather some friends to find their happiness? I personally think this is pathetic...but at the same time it COULD be kind of romantic, no? But the problem is...I noticed a young man who seemed like he could want a girlfriend, but he wasn't trying anything in particular to get any girl's attention. The clans of girls tend to stick together all night, and same for the guys. From my experience as a girl (no matter how man-ish my close friends think I am) and also from observation, I know what happens in those gal circles...
Interested girl: hey, don't look now, but look at the guy at my 1 o'clock. Blue and white stripped shirt. glasses. big spider web tattoo on his elbow. He's sexy.
girlfriend 1: ooooh, nice one!
girlfriend 2: totally. what are you going to do?
Interested girl: I don't know.
girlfriend 2: he just looked at you!
girlfriend 1: go talk to him! he so wants you.
Interested girl: No!
the guy and his friends start walking in their direction...
girlfriend 1: he's coming here!
as he approaches, interested girl turns her back on him and pretends as if she never even noticed him...
How many of you have seen this happen or done something like this?! I definitely have. I'm either a wimp or a bitch. Or to make it easier...I'm both. I'm a wimpy bitch. For some reason when I'm attracted to someone, I start doing things that could come off as cold. I don't know why! But anyways, that's not the point. The point is...do people really go out thinking they'll find their mate? I wonder how successful they are?
I don't think that the sole reason why young people go out partying (ie drinking, dancing, etc) is to find their soul mate. As a person that's already with someone, I sometimes feel like wearing 4 inch high heels, more make-up than necessary, and, though I don't wear skimpy clothing, sexier clothes when I go out. One of the things I personally think that Sex and the City does successfully, but in a convoluted way, with the few episodes that I've actually seen is convey a woman's need to feel sexy, wanted, and accepted just for the sake of having more self-esteem, not necessarily to meet your soul mate. I say, if you have it, flaunt it; if you don't, still flaunt it! Women and girls need to learn how to love themselves, which includes loving their bodies and faces and learning how to express that, whether that be through fashion or verbally. BUT I will have to say, as a fellow female, that some girls go WAY too far with their clothes. I advocate sexy elegance, not trashy and whorish.
ReplyDeleteA possible answer to why you are cold to people that you are attracted to: fear of rejection? That's what I used to do with a lot of people I liked in the past...
Oh no, I didn't mean the 'sole reason' of why the go out. I was thinking about what the majority reason would be. But either way, it's an interesting thought isn't it? And yeah, your guess about why I might act cold around people I'm attracted to. After thinking about it, I think it's more around men that I find intimidating. And I think I do it to show them that not EVERYONE is into them. I don't know...reverse psychology? haha.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough, I thought about why people go out to bars/clubs the other day too. I wondered if it was to meet someone or just to have fun...
ReplyDeleteI agree that a lot of time going out and getting dressed for the night gives me a huge self-esteem boost. It's the desire to be accepted/wanted. I don't expect to meet "Mr Right" at a bar, but I can find that feeling of sexiness by going out, which really is the outcome I was seeking anyway...
But why do other people go out? I think the entire idea of having bars/clubs is actually a pretty interesting topic to ponder... Like, who are the people that frequent THAT said bar on a Tuesday and why did that person decide to go to Williams THAT night. Fun to think about, for sure.